Why Didn't You Tell Me?
by bamfhowell
Summary: Chris has been in love with Phil for as long as he remembered. The only thing that was in his way was Dan. So, what happens when Chris finds Dan journal?


"Thanks for coming over, Chris." Phil Lester said as he let his friend, Chris Kendall.

"Oh... no problem. I'm glad you called me," Chris replied. He smiled as he looked over at Phil.

It was a Friday evening when Chris arrived at Phil's apartment.

Chris had been filming a video for Youtube when Phil had called him and asked if he wanted to shoot a video together. Of course, Chris immediately stopped what he was doing and came over to Phil's apartment. Chris had been friends with Phil for about four years now and he's had a crush on him ever since he met him. Chris had never really been in love before but he was definitely in love with Phil. Phil didn't even know of this crush Chris had on him. Chris wanted to tell him but he didn't know where to start, and he was kind of afraid to say something.

Chris looked around a few seconds as he stepped into the apartment.

Phil reached over and shut the door, locking it afterwards.

"So, you said that you wanted to shoot a video?" Chris asked as he followed Phil up the stairs.

"Yeah. We can film in my room," Chris followed Phil as they went to Phil's bedroom.

"Where's Dan at?" Chris asked curiously as he watched Phil shut the door.

"Oh, he went shopping for groceries and stuff. Yeah, we don't have any food in this house, which is quite surprising now that I'm thinking about it," Phil said.

Chris laughed. "Yeah, I know how that feels. I live by myself and I run out of food so fast. It's ridiculous," he said. He rolled his eyes and shook his head.

Phil smiled. "Deep down inside, we're all just a bunch of pigs," he said jokingly.

Chris laughed. "So, what are we filming?" He asked.

Phil walked over to his bed and then he sat down, motioning Chris over to sit next to him. Chris smiled and walked over to Phil's bed, sitting down next to him.

"I have a few ideas in mind. Hope you didn't have anything planned today. Filming might take a couple hours or so. Not too long though," Phil told him.

"Nah, I wasn't busy," Chris said, shaking his head.

Phil smiled. "Perfect. So, let's get started, shall we?" He asked. He looked over at Chris.

It's now been a half an hour since Chris had arrived at Phil's apartment.

Chris and Phil had been filming ever since Chris arrived but now they were taking a little break from filming. Chris had just been to the bathroom. He was about to walk back to Phil's bedroom but he stopped when he passed Dan's bedroom. Luckily, Dan wasn't back yet. Chris bit his lip before he finally walked into Dan's bedroom. He looked around for a few seconds. He glanced over at Dan's pillow and blinked a few times. He walked over to the pillow and picked it up. He raised his eyebrows when he saw that there was a journal lying there.

"Really, Dan? A journal?" Chris asked. He shook his head. He dropped the pillow and then he picked up Dan's journal. Chris sat down on Dan's bed and opened the first page which said,

'Dan's Journal'. Chris sighed as he turned to the next page.

Dan had been writing in this journal since 2009, which was the year that he had met Phil.

Chris had never liked Dan. He always pretended that he liked Dan, acted like they were best friends and all. Chris was jealous. Dan was Phil's best friend. He did everything with Phil. They lived together, they made Youtube videos together and they even had a radio show together.

Chris sat there, reading a couple pages of Dan's journal.

It wasn't until he got into the page of January 1st, 2011.

I love Phil Lester. I didn't want to admit it, but I love him. Phil's my best friend. He always had been and always will be. We're finally living together and everything's going perfectly. The only problem is that Phil doesn't know I love him and I'm afraid to tell him.

Chris rolled his eyes and flipped a few more pages. It wasn't surprising for Chris at all to learn that Dan loved Phil. Everybody practically already knew that Dan was in love with Phil; just by the way he looked at him or how he talked to him. Dan was like a love sick puppy whenever he was around Phil, or so... that's what Chris thought. He never said anything though.

It's been about 15 minutes now since Chris had been gone. Phil was getting a bit worried so he finally left his bedroom to go find him. Phil stopped at the bathroom first and frowned as soon as he saw the door was open and the lights were off. Chris wasn't there. Chris said that he was going to the bathroom and he would be back. Phil turned around and blinked a few times.

"Chris?" Phil called nervously. He sighed as he looked around the house for a few minutes before he went to Dan's room, just in case. Phil looked in and was surprised when he saw Chris sitting on Dan's bed. "Chris?" Phil asked. Chris jumped as soon as he heard Phil's voice. He nervously looked up at him, still holding onto the journal. "What are you doing in here?" Chris didn't say anything. "What's that you're holding?" Phil asked curiously.

Chris looked down at it and then he shut it. He stood up from Dan's bed. "Um…" Chris began to say. He looked up at Phil again. "Dan's journal." He said simply.

Phil raised his eyebrows. "Dan has a journal?" He asked.

Chris nodded. "Yes he does, and he's been writing in it for years," he said.

"Dan doesn't seem like the person to have a journal," Phil mumbled.

"Well, he has one... that's for sure," Chris snapped.

Phil frowned as he stared at Chris. "But, why were you looking through it? That's invading his personal privacy. You wouldn't like it if someone read your journal," he said.

"He wrote about you in it." Chris said. He dropped the journal on the bed.

"He wrote about me?" Phil asked, blinking a few times.

Chris nodded and looked at him again. "Yeah... he wrote about you a lot," he whispered.

"Good things I hope?" Phil asked, biting his lip.

"There were good things alright," Chris mumbled. He sighed.

"Okay, seriously… we need to get out of here before Dan gets home," Phil warned.

"Did you know that Dan was in love with you?" Chris asked.

Phil blinked a few times. "He's what?" He asked with shock.

Chris nodded again. "Yeah. That's all that he's written in it. How much he loves you and all that," he snapped. He scoffed and shook his head.

"I…" Phil began to say. He was too shocked to say anything after knowing that his best friend was in love with him. Phil was so sure that Dan was 100% straight. Dan always denied being gay when someone asked him. He just thought it was funny how Dan lied about his sexuality.

"I have to g," Chris mumbled. He went to walk out of Dan's bedroom but Phil grabbed Chris's arm before he could. Chris immediately looked over at him. "Phil, let me go." Chris whispered.

"Where are you going? I thought we were gonna film?" Phil asked.

Chris shook his head. "I'm sorry but I can't. I just… I have to go." He mumbled.

Phil frowned and then he finally let go of him.

Chris immediately turned around and walked away.

Phil bit his lip as he looked over at Dan's journal, which was lying on his bed. He started to walk into Dan's bedroom but he quickly stopped and shook his head. "No, Phil." Phil whispered. He turned around and walked back into his own bedroom, shutting the door.

It was a couple hours later. Dan had been back from grocery shopping by now. Dan hadn't seen or spoken to Phil yet though, which was a little bit odd. It was around 8 o'clock when Dan went to Phil's bedroom. He knocked on the door a few times.

"Phil?" Dan called. He knocked on the door a few more times. "Hey, are you in there?" Dan waited a few seconds. He tried to open the door but it was locked. Dan sighed. He went to turn around but he stopped when he heard Phil's door open. He turned around and smiled when he saw Phil. "Hey, I was just wondering what you wanted…" Dan began to say.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" Phil asked quietly.

Dan blinked a few times. "What are you talking about? Why didn't I tell you what?" He asked.

"That you were in love with me?" Phil asked. This isn't exactly how Phil wanted everything to go down but he couldn't help himself. He needed answers to the many questions that he had.

Phil had also been so in love with Dan, head over heels for him even, practically ever since they met. Phil just never told Dan because he was so sure that Dan was straight. So, now knowing that Dan was in love with him, he was going to take this chance while he could. He just hoped that things wouldn't blow up and their friendship wouldn't be ruined. Dan's friendship was the most important thing to Phil in his life right now and he didn't want it to be ruined.

Dan's eyes went wide with shock as soon as he heard what Phil had said.

"Dan?" Phil asked. Dan went to turn around but Phil quickly grabbed a hold of him.

"Please let me go," Dan begged as his eyes began to water up.

"No, Dan… please. We have to talk about this. Why didn't you tell me?" Phil asked again.

"How did you find out?" Dan asked, not looking at Phil.

"Your journal," Phil whispered. He took a deep breath.

Dan finally looked at him. "You read through my journal!?" He screamed angrily at him.

Phil shook his head. "No, Dan! Chris found it and read it!" He yelled back at him.

"What the hell was Chris doing in my bedroom?" Dan asked. He took a deep breath, trying his best not to let any tears fall out of his eyes. He didn't want to cry in front of Phil.

"I invited him over because I wanted to film a couple of videos with him. But, we were taking a break and I don't know. I don't know why he would think its okay to go through your personal stuff but he did. He told me that you wrote about me in it... about how you loved me and everything..." Phil explained. "Dan?... Is it true?" He asked nervously.

"Why does it matter? It's not like you feel the same way about me," Dan mumbled.

"That's why I'm bringing this up. I-I do feel the same way about you," Phil whispered.

Dan immediately looked up at him with shock in his eyes. "What?" He asked quietly.

"I've always loved you, Dan." Phil told him.

"You're not just saying this because you feel sorry for me, are you?" Dan asked nervously.

"No!" Phil yelled. He scoffed and shook his head "Why on Earth would I do that, Dan? You're my best friend. You have been for four years! I mean… we literally do everything together. It's not that surprising that I'm in love with you. I just… I always thought you were straight before which is why I never told you how I felt." Phil admitted. He shrugged his shoulders.

Dan rolled his eyes. "I'm not straight but I'm not gay either," he said.

Phil blinked a few times. "So, are you like… bi or something?" Phil asked.

Dan laughed. "No. I'm neither," He said. He shook his head. "I guess I'm just attracted to whoever I'm attracted to... I don't want to be labeled," Dan shrugged his shoulders. "And you're the only one I've ever been attracted to. It's true. I'm being 100% honest with you."

Phil blinked a few times. "I mean, it's true that I have been in love with you since we met. I just… I didn't know if you felt the same way so I never told you how I felt. I didn't want to risk losing our friendship. I couldn't risk our friendship. It's too important to me." Dan explained.

Phil nodded. "That's exactly why I never told you. Our friendship is important to me as well. I can't lose you Dan..." He whispered. He took a deep breath.

Dan smiled as he walked over to Phil and stared at him directly in the eye.

Phil stared right back at him but remained silent.

"You'll never lose me. Never," Dan promised.

"Good. Now, I believe there's a question on the table…" Phil began to say.

Dan raised his eyebrows. "Is there?" He asked curiously.

"Dan, would you like to be my boyfriend?" Phil asked.

Dan rolled his eyes and looked back at Phil. "Are you kidding me Phil? You don't even have to ask me that!" He yelled excitedly. Phil laughed at him. Dan wrapped his arms around Phil's neck and he kissed him gently. Phil immediately kissed him back. He wrapped his arms around Dan's waist and pulled him closer. They didn't break the kiss once.

Phil had been waiting for this moment for four years. He couldn't believe that it was finally happening. He almost felt like a little girl going on her first date. That's how excited he was.

Dan finally pulled away from the kiss after what felt like hours of just standing there, kissing each other. He couldn't believe that he had just kissed Phil, finally.

Dan smiled. "I think we should go celebrate," he whispered. Phil also smiled.

"We could go get dinner. It's only 8 o'clock." Phil suggested.

"Hm. Dinner as a first date sounds perfect," Dan said. He finally let go of Phil. "Give me a half an hour to get ready and then we can leave. Okay?" He looked up at Phil.

Phil frowned as he watched Dan turn around and walk out of his bedroom. "Wait, it takes you a half an hour to get ready?" He asked as he walked into the hallway.

Dan turned and looked at Phil. "I want to look decent!" He yelled before walking away again.


End file.
